What to Talk About on Tinder: 8 Conversation Starters That Actually Work

So you matched with someone on Tinder. That part was easy enough. But now what? Starting a conversation that actually goes somewhere is a whole different challenge.

If your typical opener is “hey” and you’re not sure where to go from there, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Small talk can feel exhausting, and dating apps don’t exactly give you a script.

Luckily, there are ways to make your chats more engaging, flirty, and memorable. Here are 8 conversation starters that actually work—with solid examples and tips for taking things beyond surface level.

1. Ask About Something in Their Profile

This is the single most underrated (and underused) strategy on dating apps. If someone has taken the time to mention a hobby, interest, or favorite place, they want you to notice it. Don’t skip it—use it.

Why it works: It shows that you’re genuinely paying attention, which is rare and refreshing. Instead of a generic opener, you’re meeting them in a space they’ve chosen to share. That immediately builds connection and sets you apart from people who just swipe and type “what’s up.”

How to do it: Ask a question that invites a story, not just a yes or no.

Examples:

• “You’ve been to Iceland? That’s on my bucket list. What was your favorite part?”
• “So you love horror movies—are we talking classic slasher or psychological thrillers?”
• “Your dog looks like he runs your life in the best way. Is he as spoiled as he looks?”

2. Talk Pop Culture (Without Being Generic)

Movies, music, books, and TV are universal conversation fuel—but you’ve got to be specific. Saying “What kind of music do you like?” rarely leads to an interesting answer. Try framing your question around choices, preferences, or personality-revealing comparisons.

Why it works: Pop culture gives you immediate shared ground, even with someone you’ve never met. It can be nostalgic, emotional, or just plain fun. And if you like the same things? Bonus.

How to do it: Use what’s trending or something from their profile to tailor your question.

Examples:

• “Be honest—did you cry at the end of Stranger Things season 4?”
• “You say you’re into Taylor Swift. Which album is your whole personality right now?”
• “Harry Potter house, go. No pressure—but your answer says everything.”

3. Travel Dreams or Favorite Places

Whether someone’s well-traveled or not, almost everyone has a dream destination or favorite getaway spot. Travel talk opens the door to stories, tastes, and lifestyles—all things that help you learn about someone quickly.

Why it works: It’s aspirational. It puts the focus on experience and desire, not work or small talk. Plus, it gives you clues about how adventurous, curious, or chill someone might be.

How to do it: Ask “what” and “why” to encourage a richer response.

Examples:

• “If you could teleport to any country for a week—no responsibilities—where would you go?”
• “What’s one trip you’ve taken that completely changed you?”
• “Mountains, beaches, or city skyline—which one’s your happy place?”

4. Pets, Plants, or Passions

People love talking about what they care for—and care about. Pets, plants, side hustles, creative hobbies… these are the things that light people up. And they’re often visible in someone’s bio or photos.

Why it works: These topics strike a great balance between personal and playful. You’re not diving too deep too fast, but you are asking about something meaningful.

How to do it: Ask how that passion shows up in their life—or even better, compliment it.

Examples:

• “Your pup looks like he could outsmart both of us. What’s his name?”
• “You grow succulents? I can barely keep basil alive—what’s your secret?”
• “I saw you do photography—what do you love to shoot most?”

5. Throw in a Funny Hypothetical

Humor breaks the ice like nothing else. A well-timed hypothetical question creates an instant shared joke—and lets you see if your weirdness levels match.

Why it works: It’s low pressure, fun, and opens the door to banter. Plus, how someone answers a ridiculous question says a lot about their personality.

How to do it: Keep it light, unexpected, and open-ended.

Examples:

• “If your life were a sitcom, what would it be called and who would play your neighbor?”
• “Would you rather fight one pigeon-sized lion or ten lion-sized pigeons?”
• “If I told you I was secretly a time traveler, would you ask for proof—or run?”

6. Ask About Something They’re Proud Of

This one’s a little deeper—but incredibly effective. Asking someone what they’re proud of invites them to show up confidently. It also creates space for a meaningful story without getting overly heavy too soon.

Why it works: It makes people feel good to reflect on what they’ve achieved or overcome. It also shows that you’re interested in who they are—not just what they look like.

How to do it: Frame it in a casual, open-ended way so they don’t feel put on the spot.

Examples:

• “What’s something you’ve done lately that made you feel like a boss?”
• “What are you proud of that most people wouldn’t guess about you?”
• “Lowkey or big win—what’s made you smile lately?”

7. Use a Shared Interest as a Launchpad

Common ground is gold. If you both love the same band, hobby, sport, or even coffee order, use that as a jumping-off point. It gives you an instant spark of familiarity to build on.

Why it works: It creates a sense of connection from the start. You’re not strangers—you’re both part of something already, even if it’s just loving oat milk lattes or roller skating.

How to do it: Acknowledge the shared interest, then ask something playful or opinion-based about it.

Examples:

• “You play guitar too? Acoustic or electric—and what’s your go-to cover?”
• “Wait… you also watch The Great British Bake Off? Are we bonding over biscuits now?”
• “If we were in a Mario Kart race, which character are you picking—and how badly would you beat me?”

8. When in Doubt, Be Playfully Honest

If you’re nervous, awkward, or just don’t know what to say—say that. Humor + honesty is a powerful combo. People appreciate when you’re real, especially on a platform full of small talk and pretense.

Why it works: It instantly humanizes you. You don’t have to be smooth—just authentic and kind of funny.

How to do it: Keep it casual and self-aware. Don’t self-deprecate too much—just lean into the moment.

Examples:

• “I had a great opening line planned but then I saw your dog and forgot everything.”
• “Not gonna lie, I’m overthinking this message. So here it is: hi, you seem cool.”
• “Starting a convo is weird, right? I vote we both pretend we’re great at this.”

Final Thoughts

What you talk about on Tinder doesn’t need to be perfect—but it should be personal. Asking real questions, noticing little details, and being your weird, curious self will always take you further than one-word replies or copy-paste lines.

So ditch the “hey,” read the profile, and take a chance on starting a conversation that actually matters. Worst case? You make someone smile. Best case? You meet someone amazing who matches your vibe, your wit, and maybe even your Spotify playlist.