Mind Your Own Business

Door Stevie gepubliceerd in Persoonlijke ervaringen

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Don't judge other people base on what you'd think you know, while in fact you do not know them at all.

I will give you an example:

The people who live two blocks away from where you are, you maybe saw them once or twice at the supermarket doing groceries, or walking out the dog, yes you greet them and they greet you back. Or maybe even they don't.

The UPS guy, you meet him everyday and have a little chat with him about this and that, he might be somehow know your name by now because he would asked your name if you have to sign some documents on his palm note.

Another colleague from other department, you met them nearly everyday on the coffee machine, or during lunch hour and you talked about work and other things.

As a boss, you only know your employee as much as his or her CV says about them. Yes, you should know about their experience and whether they are qualified to do the job, but other than that, you do not know anything at all.

My point is this: From that four example, how far are we allowed to judge someone, base on that knowledge?

I often talked to others, which have the same experience as I have.  And I encounter this situation almost everyday. When I'm busy on my computer I could drown my self in this activities that I don't even notice my surrounding anymore. And people would come to me and said: 'don’t look so serious' or 'Smile, please don't look angry.' Even when I'm elsewhere, people that I do not know of, never met them before they have the audacity to just walked to me and say... ' oh smile dear'. First of all; I'm not your dear, I never met you. And please do not tell me what I must or mustn't do. I was having fun then, I was minding my own business but because you telling me what I must do, you ruin it all. I smile on the inside.

Yes I could ignore all that remarks, except when you heard this remarks almost every time, then you have this urge to blow up and get angry. Usually I just take a deep breath and shrug my shoulder and move on.

Few months ago I read on Internet what they called 'Bitch Resting Face' or BRF. I laughed when I read that, and I watched the video on YouTube. And yes it is true.  We all have the tendency to judge others base on how they look.

You shouldn't judge people on how they look, or even demand them to 'change' it. It is what it is, accept them they way they are.  I can't change my face, I can't smile on demand, I smile when I feel like smiling. Expecting me to change my face into all smiley face is like you buy this VW car and expecting it to run like a Ferrari. Well, why you bought that VW if you wanted a fast car like a Ferrari in the first place? I won't change my face into smiley face only to make you happy. Mind your own business, moreover accept people the way they are. If you walk around all smiley face, that is your doing. You won't like it either when someone would come to you and tell you: "Hey, be serious for a change!"

I have one friend and others called her smiley face, because she's always smiling. Therefor, people would think that she's a carefree person, while actually she's having enough problems you can't even imagine. Or people would think that she's on drugs. So either way whether you're looking serious or smiley face, there are always people that would judge you and thinks other wise about you.

They would have this idea that they may and can judge you because they are your boss or someone that would think that they are above you, and you are down there not that much important in their eyes.

Do not stress out. You know how you feel, you know your own situation, you are who you are, and you know your capacity, your quality and what's makes you ‘tick’. You are you. Do not let others tell you other wise, do not change because other thinks you should. And yes you can 'play' along, do the things what they expected to do, in the long run this will be tiresome. One day you would think: 'Ah..##!@* all!' . You exploded! Because to do the things what people expected you to do, doesn't do well. Not for you, not for your surrounding.

As for you, when you found yourself into this categorize of people that would make a judgment on other base on how they appear to be, think about this: when the shoe is on the other foot, how would you feel? Do not judge!

 

 

 

 

05/04/2017 16:55

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