Due To Loneliness

Door Stevie gepubliceerd in Persoonlijke ervaringen


Sometimes it is nice to be alone, for awhile it wont hurt you. But sometimes it isn't something you wanted, to be lonely. Being alone is not necessary lonely. Because you could be lonely in a room full of people, in a world crowded with people you could feel that bitterness of being lonely.

The hardest part is to be lonely in a relationship. You are with this special someone, or maybe even your husband or wife, and yet it feels as if you are on your own. He or she couldn't see or feel what you feel. As if you are not from this world. To make it even harder is when no one and literary no one could comprehend how you feel. 

You've tried to explain about what you feel and how you feel, but they just don't understand. Why? Because in this world, where Social Media screaming at us through Facebook, Instagram, What'sapp, Twitter and all others type of seeing people and talking to people without even really seeing each other, how could you be lonely? Suddenly loneliness become a taboo, you shouldn't speak out loud about this. 

Because then you are way off in how it should be. Everybody posting their fantastic dinner on Instagram or Facebook, make selfies while they were laughing with friends with a cup of this top brand coffee in your hand, much better appreciated and you will get more than 2 thumbs up on Facebook, when you're hairstyle is just the right style, you dress the way the fashion trend told you how to dress.

Are their life really perfect? 6 out of the 10 people posting it, are actually lonely. They just acted as if they are all ok. But as soon as they went home and close the door, they are all alone. Don't be surprise when days pass by and no one call, from all the names on the telephone list maybe there are only 3 which are really give a damn.

I know a friend which throw her life away using alcohol only to stop that nagging feeling of being lonely. If you see her life, you will think how could she be lonely? She have a handsome partner, both of them have this top job. She could live on her own with her salary. She don't need him. They got a fantastic appartment at a top location in Amsterdam. She's beautiful, talented and yet she is lonely. Because of her drinking problem, she lost her job, her partner couldn't help her. He couldn't understand her when he saw her crying one day sitting on the bathroom floor with a broken wine glass trying to cut her wrist.

He called me and asked me wether I knew what her problem might be. I don't. I thought everything is perfect, everything in their life is perfect. I have my own life, I talk to her every now and then, and it was always me who called her. But then I've realised that these last few months, it was her who always called me or send me what'sapp. He admitted that once she complaining about feeling lonely, when he was in USA for his work for about 2 weeks. So he said, that he told her to go out with her friends, and have fun. He was shock when he learned that from all her friends, she only have two friends and one of them is me. The rest of them they just cheerleaders..cheering her on the sideline but other than that, there is nothing. They love her post, her Instagram, her Twitter but that is all.

She is in therapy, and what I understand that loneliness it isn't only because one not able having friends, there are many reason why someone is lonely. In her case it goes long way back to her childhood. And each one of us may have something deep inside us that one day will appear without we're knowing. In every breaking point there are reason why it broke at some point. A ticking bomb wont be always just ticking....

29/03/2017 11:48

Reacties (4) 

29/03/2017 15:35
I love your way of writing.
30/03/2017 04:30
Thank you Candice.
29/03/2017 14:00
Loneliness really does hurt....
Stevie tegen Saida
30/03/2017 04:45
Yes Saida, loneliness does hurt. And there are many kind of loneliness. A parent, a mother could feel a loneliness when her child leave their home to live elsewhere (going to school, work or have their own family) it's called emptiness or actually empty nest. She will grieve because there is no one that she could mothering. Still that loneliness is not that bitterly because she knows that they will come back every now and then. This is a temporarily situation.

And when someone died, you would feel loneliness, but then you still have the memory of that person.

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