A dialogue with my Maker

Door Edwin Bruinooge gepubliceerd in Religie en levensbeschouwing

Just a conversation, nothing else. Between whom? Find that out while reading.  But I wrote it in English, not Dutch, my native language. Why? Because somehow it came to me in English. Could it be an epiphany?

My voice speaks to everyone!


"Who’s there?"
"Alright, show yourself!"
"No can do!"
"Why the hell not?"
"That’s the whole purpose of being invisible, dummy!"
"Invisible, yeah right! You take me for a fool?"
"Nope. I know you’re not a fool. In fact I know you better than you could possibly think."
"Hmmm, so we know each other?"
"Well, I know you, but apparently you haven’t figured out who I am."
"Right about that one! So where are you?"
"Oh do come along! What direction does my voice come from?"
"Oh...sorry about that. Force of habit I guess. Goes with the territory, being Omnipresent and all that."
"Omnipresent? You’re some kind of god, or what?"
"Now you’re getting warm! But I’m not some kind of god. I’m THE God. The one and only, sometimes one and lonely."
"You mean, God? As in the Bible and stuff?"
"Yep, burning bushes, parting the Red Sea, nailed to the cross, author of the Ten Commandments, the works!"


"Oh wow! Do I get to lie down and meekly worship you? Is that why you’re here?"
"Well, I do like the worshipping part, but I think I’ll skip it for now. I have a Universe to run and I’m in a bit of a hurry."
"God is in a hurry? And I thought time has no meaning for You."
"A common misconception. Just you try to monitor the destinies of trillions of stars, trillions of planets and billions of intelligent lifeforms. Not to mention the gazillion non-intelligent ones."
"I wouldn’t know where to start!"
"There you are! And then, think about all those billions of billions of individuals asking, pleading, expecting, demanding something of Me. All at the same time. Or simply cursing the living shit out of Me."
"I think I would go mental."
"You would, wouldn’t you! Well don’t worry, you’re just a mortal and I’m God. It’s My chosen profession and I can take it. And that’s the truth."
"Glad I’m not You, I couldn’t handle the truth."
"Booyah! You like Jack Nicholson as well. One of My favorite sons, the old bugger! I saw you rummaging with that quote in your head."
"You can read my mind?"
"Omniscient, that’s sooo Me. But OK, I’ll put up the blinders, let you have a little privacy in your skull. You’d like that, wouldn’t ya?"
"I’d appreciate that very much, thank You, Lord!"
"You’re welcome."
"But to get back to You being in a hurry and my question..."
"You wanna know why I’m even talking to you?"


"Well, think a little for yourself. What kind of people do I normally talk to?"
"The ones that get into heaps of trouble."
"Ok, you got Me on that one. Point for you, they invariably get into serious shit. Not through any fault of Mine, I might add. I don’t make mistakes, I wouldn’t know how!"
"But...What do you want from me then?"
"Isn’t that obvious? You’re My Chosen One!"
"Chosen for what exactly?"
"To spread the Word, My Word, what else is there?"
"But haven’t You done that before?"
"I have! But did you guys listen? Do you people even know how to read?"
"Well, I have a Bible, a Qu’ran, even the Book of Mormon and the Bhagavad-gita on my shelf. I have read them all."
"Good for you. All of them are My Word. But do you understand them? Nooooo! Do you read them as they should be read in the first place? Nooooo! And do you know why?"
"Somehow I think You are about to tell me..."
"Don’t get cocky with Me, son! It doesn’t suit you one bit. But I’ll tell you. First, there is that blasted evolution I’ve invented. Evolution of language, in this case."
"I don’t think I understand."
"Bear with Me for a moment, then. Languages evolve. The meaning of words changes, expressions, metaphors, all get lost in translation over time. But the second reason is even more annoying. You guys don’t read between the lines. You fail to see the Word behind My Words. You are all created in My Image, but do you act the part?"
"What is Your Image, exactly?"
"Make an educated guess."
"Humanoid, a head, eyes, arms, legs, but a lot bigger than us."
"That’s an insult! Both to Me and to you guys! No, you got it all wrong. Why do you think I appear to you invisible?"
"Because You are too big to be seen?"


"Not exactly. You can only see what you call ‘visible light’. But I also exist in the Infrared and Ultraviolet spectrum. In fact, I’m at My most Glorious in gamma radiation. But gamma radiation kills you off quite quickly."
"Then...in what way are we made in Your Image?"
"Brainpower! Logic and creativity, coupled with the will and the means to change your surroundings, to make a better and more beautiful world. But you’re still so unbalanced!"
"And I thought we were Creation’s masterpiece."
"Megalomaniacs! You don’t even come close! You should see the intelligent species on Armigonda Prime, just ten billion lightyears from this place. They are the best I’ve yet invented."
"Then why don’t You recreate us in their image?"
"Where’s the fun in that? A uniform Universe! Boring! Did Picasso burn his previous paintings after finishing Guernica? Of course not. He gets it, he’s an artist, like Me. I love you all fiercely, just the way you are. Or should I say, the way you could become. And that’s where I need you."
"What do you want me to do? Write a new Holy Book? The Ultimate One?"
"In this day and age? Hardly anyone reads nowadays. No, I want you to use mass communication, podcast, Internet, TV, radio, start blogging, make reality shows, that gets them anytime. I want you to be My front runner, I want you to lead. Lead by example. Use PR, perform miracles, battle the nonsense that’s being spread about Me. Make people turn to Me, instead of turning away from Me."
"But what should I say? Where to begin?"
"Get back to the basics. I’ve blessed humanity with a lot of power. But power without responsibility is a concept that is null and void."
"What do you mean by that?"


"This Earth is not yours alone. Have a care for the rest of My Creation, will ya! Stop the incessant breeding! There’s just way too many of you. You’re competing the other lifeforms away. That was not My intention. Be responsible caretakers, for Christ’s sake! Why are you looking so shocked?"
"You were cursing...a little."
"My prerogative. I can curse at Myself whenever I want, thank you very much. If you were to curse Me, that would be indecent. C’mon! You curse at yourself all the time, whenever you hit your thumb with a hammer, clumsy bugger that you are!"
"I do...but I’ve also cursed You occasionally."
"I know, I remember. All forgiven."
"Thank you, Lord."
"Well, let’s get back to your task at hand. You are going to put a stop to all religious infighting. You guys are always like “Daddy, daddy, I’m a good boy, but those people over there, they are baaaaad! They are reading the wrong book. Please, please, punish them, smite them.” No I will not! I’m so done with the smiting, it got Me nowhere. You will teach them all to get along and they will love it! I would."
"That’s a lot of shit You’re going to let me shovel."
"If you have to shovel shit, use both hands! You are up to the task. I didn’t choose you on a whim!"
"You can see into the future? You can see if I will succeed?"
"Yes I can and no, I will not look. Takes away the exitement, doesn’t it? I have faith in you. Start having a little faith in yourself."
"Will my followers be rewarded?"
"Oh My God, which means Oh Myself! There you go again! Will you ever learn that Life itself is the reward? It’s My gift to the Universe. Stop focussing on a possible life in the happily everafter. Live Life like there is no tomorrow! I do."
"What do you mean by that? You’re supposed to be immortal. You should know!"
"How would I know? I’m the only God around. Nobody told or taught me anything. I’m a self made Supreme Being who is probably immortal but I don’t know for sure. Nor do I care. Life is filled with too many wonders to worry about trivialities. Besides, a sense of immortality tends to make one lazy, because there’s always mañana. There’s always an excuse to not get off your lazy butts."
"I can see the logic in Your reasoning."
"And you’re not even a Vulcan. Of course you can, you are My Chosen One. Let’s get back to all the nonsense about Me I want you to battle."
"Is there a lot?"
"Rhetorical question I hope? In the first place, yes I do care about Y’all. I really hate to see you guys suffer, it pains Me immensely, but I will not hold your hands every step of the way. You will learn to walk by yourselves, you will stumble, you will fall and you will get bloodied. It’s all part of growing up and being Human. I will support you, comfort you, love you, but you guys have to do the walking. You’re at the beginning of a wonderful journey."


"Is there more?"
"Yep, there is. Be proud of yourselves. You are not born with original sin, you are noble creatures who are on the verge of achieving greatness. Be proud of your achievements as a species. Take medicine for example. You have come a long way and I have applauded all you have discovered. But what do I see? A tendency for romantic illusions of ‘going back to nature’. Herbal medicine, traditional medicine and shamanism. Is that what you want? The solutions of five thousand years ago? Then accept the price tag as well. A life expectancy of forty, fifty years, tops."
"I’m not about to."
"Yay for you! And while you’re at it, stop taking Me so damned literally! Just remember My Masterplan. All that helps you grow as an individual or as a species as a whole, that’s Me. But you have to do it responsibly, in harmony with the rest of My Creation. Yes, you may eat pork, but you will not drive pigs to extinction. You give them a good and happy oinking life, before you turn them into pork chops. What do you think all My laws, do’s and don’ts where meant for?"
"Not to be observed literally?"
"Exactly! They are meant to make you think. To make you search beyond the words and find their deeper meaning. To make you see the wisdom of My ways. To help you decide for the good things in life. To make you respect Me, My Creation and maybe most of all, yourselves."


"And all that is contrary to that is the work of the Devil?"
"Forget the Devil! That’s just Me, being drunk. That’s just Me, having a little fun at your expense. Well not exactly, but I’m not about to tell you. Just remember that your fight with the Devil is an internal fight. A battle with all the tendencies that hold you back from growing as individuals and as humanity as a whole. And should there be a real Satan out there, let Me worry about him. That’s My job. I’m more than a match for that bozo!"
"That’s a lot to take in for a mere mortal like me."
"Getting tired? Don’t underestimate yourself. That’s humanity’s curse. Underestimating yourselves and then looking for the easy solutions. There are none! Education is the key to greatness."
"Education? But we do educate ourselves, don’t we?"
"Yeah you do. And when you enter real adult life, you tend to forget all about it. Every child is a natural born scientist. They want to know how everything works. They see the magic in every discovery. But you adults don’t. Most of you anyway."
"How so?"
"This 21st Century is called the Age of Unreason for a reason. You’ve become a lazy lot. You want tailormade and simple answers, without doing the hard work. Look at the state you’re in. Believers in the most ridiculous conspiracy theories, pseudoscientific mumbo-jumbo and instant feel-good spirituality. And on the other hand, religious fundamentalism. That is not My way! I repeat, that is NOT My way! My Universe I created with creativity, intuition, order and logic. I’ve left clues all over the place. Go out and find them. You will see Me in every discovery. I’m all the magic you need. If you want more, write a Fantasy novel."
"And you want me to stand against all that? Why me? Why not a woman this time?"
"Because women are like Me: creators of life. A lot of what you have to learn, they grasp intuitively. They think in patterns of mutual interdependencies. They see the bigger picture far more easily. That’s the only reason I choose men for this job. Not that you are superior to women, you just have to learn more. And knowledge and insight, gained by working up a sweat, that’s what I want you to pass on. That’s what leading by example means. And you are sooo going to sweat, my little friend!"


"I feel humble, I feel small and I’m afraid I’m not up to the task. I feel like I stand alone, facing a storm."
"You are not alone. I’m always with you. In fact, what I demand of you, I demand of every man, every woman. You are Everyman. You will rise to the challenge, you will meet all adversities head on. You will become stronger every step of the way. You will cross the finish line with a song in your heart. You feel it even now. That I will be waiting there, your biggest fan.You will all make yourselves proud, you will all fill Me with pride of being your Heavenly Father. Can you see it? Do you believe Me?"
"I’m trying. I want to, but it does feel a little strange and new to me."
"Don’t worry. It will come in time. I’ll leave you to contemplate all that I’ve told you. Right now I have to prevent an interstellar war, monitor the beginning of life on thirty planets and watch three supernovas explode. All in a day’s work. I’ll be visiting you shortly."
"You’re most welcome. I’d be honoured."
"No My son. The honour is all Mine!"




06/03/2016 14:28

Reacties (9) 

06/03/2016 20:09
A thrilling dialogue! I only disagree about the participants: this is not God versus man, this is man versus his self-created, home-crafted super ego.
Wanna know why?
Because he keeps running around in the same unholy circles all the time, forgetting that any higher level of perception is beyond the capacity of his brain.
He should have asked for a different kind of hypothalamus: one that has overcome and left behind its reptile heritage.
08/03/2016 07:58
This is not God? Blasphemy! ☻☻

Met een beetje nanotechnologie en genetische modificatie kunnen de toekomstige generaties vast iets veranderen aan de opmaak van onze hersenen. Ik zal het niet meer meemaken.
06/03/2016 17:55
Edwin goes religious! What the hell (oops) is going on?!

Ik had eerst te snel gelezen en zag 'NoW that you are superior to women, you just have to learn more' - gelukkig zag ik al snel dat het noT was... ik ben weer rustig :)
08/03/2016 07:55
Ik heb mijn hele leven al een 'religieus' gevoel, zeker als ik naar Hubble-foto's kijk.

Je leest wat je witl lezen, nietwaar? ;-)
08/03/2016 09:50
Het kan zijn dat ik de besmettelijke ziekte leeswatjewiltlezeneritus te pakken heb. Kan ik daar een pilleke voor pakken?
08/03/2016 10:26
Pleegzuster Bloedwijn wil helpen. Of een bolleke De Koninck. Sommige mensen vinden baat bij yoga. :P
06/03/2016 14:46
You're going to need a nice secretary. -))

Do you need my CV?
06/03/2016 14:50
The Good Lord knows you better than you do yourself. He doesn't need any CV. That's just for silly mortals.
06/03/2016 15:14
Yes .... but the fact that he knows me ...... oeps. -))
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