She fought alone

Door Ilonavanmook gepubliceerd in Persoonlijke ervaringen

 

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Two empty eyes

Tears are running down her face

Her body is here

But her soul is in another place

Her body moves forwards

Her mind is in the past

Life passes by

She doesn’t want this pain to last

She hates herself

She hates her life

That’s why her blood is floating

That’s why she keeps picking up her knife

Time cannot erase

The pain that’s been caused

Every day is a fight

A fight she has already lost

She keeps hearing his voice inside her head

She feels his body on top of hers

His hands touching hers

It only seems to get worse

She watched him fuck her

Right before her eyes

Manipulated, abused and raped

And her head filled with his lies

He stole her virginity

Without her consent

He raped her in every way possible

That’s how it went

She fought, screamed, froze and listened

But nothing ever seemed right

He’d humiliated and hurt her in every way possible

He didn’t care, front or behind

He hit, kicked and spit on her

He laughed when he knew she was in pain

‘You’re not worth it, it’s your fault, nobody loves you’

Are some of his words that spooks her brain

The bastard didn’t care

If she lived or died

That’s why he shuttered her mouth with a pillow

She wishes he’d killed her

Cause all he’d cared about were ways to make him satisfied

He was supposed to protect her

But used her like an object

He can’t call himself a father

Her trust is forever wrecked

She feels dirty

She feels low

She feels used

And she’ll always know

She kept it a secret

For two years

When she finally told someone

It only caused more tears

Misunderstood by several people

Her dark and painful past used to hurt her even more

She felt more alone than ever

She built a big wall and closed the door

More people who took advantage of her

Broke her even more

She didn’t want to feel anything

Two empty eyes

Tears are running down her face

Her body is here

But her soul is in another place

Her body moves forwards

Her mind is in the past

Life passes by

She doesn’t want this pain to last

She hates herself

She hates her life

That’s why her blood is floating

That’s why she keeps picking up her knife

Time cannot erase

The pain that’s been caused

Every day is a fight

A fight she has already lost

She keeps hearing his voice inside her head

She feels his body on top of hers

His hands touching hers

It only seems to get worse

She watched him fuck her

Right before her eyes

Manipulated, abused and raped

And her head filled with his lies

He stole her virginity

Without her consent

He raped her in every way possible

That’s how it went

She fought, screamed, froze and listened

But nothing ever seemed right

He’d humiliated and hurt her in every way possible

He didn’t care, front or behind

He hit, kicked and spit on her

He laughed when he knew she was in pain

‘You’re not worth it, it’s your fault, nobody loves you’

Are some of his words that spooks her brain

The bastard didn’t care

If she lived or died

That’s why he shuttered her mouth with a pillow

She wishes he’d killed her

Cause all he’d cared about were ways to make him satisfied

He was supposed to protect her

But used her like an object

He can’t call himself a father

Her trust is forever wrecked

She feels dirty

She feels low

She feels used

And she’ll always know

She kept it a secret

For two years

When she finally told someone

It only caused more tears

Misunderstood by several people

Her dark and painful past used to hurt her even more

She felt more alone than ever

She built a big wall and closed the door

More people who took advantage of her

Broke her even more

She didn’t want to feel anything

She built a bigger wall and a wall in front of the door

Time passed by

The wall broke down

She started to feel again

It feels like she drowns

There is so much fear

Anger towards herself, guilt and disgust

Too much shame, hurt, loneliness

 Sorrow, suffering and distrust

I look further

Those empty eyes belong to me

I don’t want to feel this way anymore

I want to fight, to live my life a bit more free!

12/11/2016 22:17

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